Thoughts

I have so many thoughts going through my mind right now and I really don't know what to think at the moment. I'm like sitting on my bed right now with the keyboard on my lap looking at the wall and thinking. Thinking about to much for some reason. Apparently I'm also thinking what I am going to type in this blog. Gosh what is going on with me. My mind is so jumbled up with thoughts were do I begin to talk about them. Well got to start somewhere. After this sentence my thoughts are just going to come out and they are not in any specific order.

Last day of school is tomorrow and I'm excited. I'm going to miss high school and everyone. I'm scared of getting hurt again. I'm afraid of opening myself to you. I want to be happy. I want to have someone. I hate being single. AHHH!!! Should I go on a date with someone else? Even though I've been waiting for you. Waiting for about 6months already but yet you don't want to be together. I'm confused. I want to make you happy and myself happy but I just don't know anymore. What do you want me to do? You can't seem to find time for me but I try for you. Is that how a relationship is going to be if we were together. Maybe I should be with someone else that I might make me happy. I mean we aren't official or anything. Maybe I'm going to take a risk. Thing is what if you ask me after I'm together with someone else. I guess its to late but I don't know. I'm lost and don't know what to do OR maybe I shouldn't try being with anyone. Whatever! I don't know anymore. I want to have that feeling you'll be there for me and you can make me smile at any point. Tomorrow is already June 1,2009 and I don't know. A part of me is afraid of Friday and what might or might not happen. Sometimes I HOPE and then if it doesn't happen. I just get disappointed and get hurt once again. Why do I get hurt? Is there something wrong with me or am I doing something wrong. Please tell me. I want to know. Maybe I should just sleep early? Well I can't ever sleep early or on time because I think about you and like "IF" something happens. I mean why put my hopes up. I think about you but do you think about me. I ask myself "Why do I keep trying?" I have no clue or maybe I'm just in need of someone. Why can't I find anyone.

No Title

I haven't been keeping up with writing/typing a blog. As you can see that its been about 8 days that I didn't blog and I said I would blog everyday but oh well. I guess I just got lazy to do this everyday and right now I have nothing to do so I decided to blog and also that I just need to get my thoughts out. So basically at this point I'm going to write/type whatever goes through my mind in this blog for today.

Two weeks left of school which is totally awesome. I'm really excited and this week is going to be Senior Week. If you all don't know what Senior Week is I'll just explain it to you. One thing for sure its for SENIORS as you can tell why its called Senior Week. Anyway its a whole week that there are different themes each day and you dress the theme. You don't have to dress but who seniors want to can do it. So here are the themes of the week ...

• Monday - Neon Day: Dress in your best neon or bright colored clothing.
• Tuesday - Twin Day
• Wednesday - Cartoon Day: Dress like your favorite cartoon character.
• Thursday - Mardi Gras Day(Seniors are deciding to do Cross Dress Day): I have no clue wth is for Mardi Gras but Cross Dress Day is girls dress like guys and guys dress like girls.
• Friday - Rock Star Day

That is all the themes for the Senior Week and I'm actually looking forward to the most is Cartoon Day. I totally have a good one and you'll find out later when I post pictures and you can try to guess who I am. I'm going to try to go all out this week for Senior Week but I think the only one I won't do is Twin Day since I don't have a twin. Anway school is almost over and prom is coming up also. I'm kind of bummed that I don't have a date to prom but then again why not go solo. I'll still have fun with my friends there and that is more important. Its better then not going at all and at first I wasn't going to go prom but I think most likely I would have regretted it. Speaking of prom I have to make my payment tomorrow at school. Man I'm still upset that the person I asked would go but just not a for sure answer what might happen in between. I'm really bummed out and I don't know what to do. Why am I so into this prom date thing? I don't know but its whatever. I guess I don't have anything else to say so I'm going to go now.

Today ...

... was alright I guess. Had a softball game and we lost but we had come back. I know we could have won the game if I didn't have to wind up my pitch and some mistakes the team did. Its okay I guess but thats why there is practice. We still have other games to play and we learn from the mistakes we have done. I don't know if I play softball when I'm in college maybe but I perfer bowling instead. Anway I have a game Monday and Wednesday so I'm guessing there is practice Tuesday. I for sure have to go to that. Well the score was 20 - 16 which is pretty close. Well after softball we went dinner with the family. We went to Great Bejing however you spell it. Had fun there and was full. Right after the family decided to go the mall but my parents didn't want to go which was pretty lame but since I don't have a car I had to go home with them. Also I didn't have a way to get home but its whatever.

TGIF

I'm so glad its Friday and the weather was so gorgeous today. I didn't go practice either but I really didn't feel like going. Just remembered its Mother's Day weekend and both days going to be busy. Saturday I have softball in the morning and then I have dinner with the family. Sunday I'm going to a thing for my little cousin and so that is different thing. I'm so tired but only three more weeks of school left. Woo Hoo. I love Fridays.

Lately

I'm just not happy. I can't really explain it but I've just been lying to myself and everyone around me that I love. Don't know what has gotten into me and I don't know if anyone can help me really. There are things I can never tell anyone about because I'm afraid of there reaction and trust. I always trust people to easily and then I just head up getting hurt. I'm so lost these days I wish someone could just point me that right direction. I hate being alone sometimes and wish I found my "someone" but just haven't. Sometimes I feel like I don't care anymore and don't want to do anything about it but its whatever. I'm losing myself ...

My Day ...

... didn't as well as I thought and it was just not getting any better when time past. I didn't eat breakfast, I was almost late for school because waiting for my brother, and I forgot my gym shorts so I didn't have any credit for gym today. Plus today it started pouring after softball practice and I had to walk to the bus stop and I was soaking wet. It had looked like I was taking a shower with my clothes on. Another thing I think I failed my music exam. Fudge my life but its whatever I guess.

I Hate ...

... that when teammates just give up after we start losing. Why do you play your best only if win and not when you lose. There is always time to catch up and thats what I hate sometimes when they give up. That is bad sportmanship and I don't think its cool at all.

Gossip Girl/One Tree Hill

Alright so this blog is for my LOVER since she wasn't able to see this shows tonight and I'm just telling her what had happened. So yeah ... I'll try my best to tell you what happened.

Gossip Girl
So they found that the guy who was working with Polly didn't have the money and Polly did. The gang wanted to get Polly arrested for fraud and they all knew that they knew them except Gorgina. They wanted her to get a recording of Polly confessing about the fraud and get her arrested. At first she didn't want to do it but Blaire had said if she had done it. She would forgive her since everyone else had forgiven her except Blaire. So she was going to do it and they had her all dressed up and acted as someone else. So Polly and Gorgina met for some coffee and so things didn't go as planned. Oh so Dan knew about the fraud thing and had mentioned it to Lily and Lily told her daughter not to do anything. Lily said the adult thing to do is that tell everything didn't go through and then pay back everyone back with her money. So anyway the plan with Gorgina and Polly didn't get through and so Sarena went outside to talk to the police and tell about the fraud Polly had done but then all of sudden they had arrested Sarena. So then it was a surprise to everyone what had happened and so they went to the police station and said she was arrested for theif for her stealing her grandmother's bracelet. Sarena had said to call her mother about it but then the police had said that Lily had called it in about the thief. Dang there is a lot to explain but I'm trying to my best to. Um so Rufus was going to ask Lily to marry him and he had set up stuff but then found out about the fraud thing that Lily was going to pay monthly back Rufus and he didn't want that. Then Lily had told that Rufus that Sarena had gotten arrested but Lily had called it in because she tried to tell Sarena not to do anything with Polly. After that Rufus didn't ask Lily to marry him and he left. Polly got awake while Sarena was getting arrested and Gorgina had given the church people's money that was suppose to go to buy bibles instead went to Polly. Blaire had told that it was Gorgina's fault that she got Sarena arrested but then after that Gorgina calls Blaire and says that "The Bi#*% is back". So Gorgina is going to finish what they couldn't finished and is now following Polly. Oh Chuck gave his answer to Blaire that it was just a game between them and then Blaire gave her answer to Nate that she didn't want to move in cause it was too fast. Then Nate was like he didn't want to either because he thought it would solve their solutions. Well that is all I can remember of Gossip Girl.

One Tree Hill
So as you know Payton is an unsure thing of living or not so she makes a video so that her child would remember her. She makes a memory box as well and then Lucas walks in and says she doesn't need to do that because there child will not need to remember her but the child will know her. (Well I'm just going to be straight forward in this one because I don't want to go into every detail.) Payton has a baby shower, Lucas and Jamie are going through the memory box in the garage, Skills and Jamie's teacher are on a date but there is one thing the other white kid from Jamie's basketball team is there on the date, there are NBA scouts watching Nate's last game, and Lucas at the end changes his mind and says lets get married.

Well if there is something else you want to know LOVER just message me on twitter.

Today ...

Well it was really a lazy/relax day since I was like sleeping most of the day. Reason why I was sleepy because I didn't sleep till like maybe 5am. Had come home late with my dad from the party. Most of the time I was sleeping but my mom had woke me up when it was time to eat and to stay awake for a bit since she knew I probably wouldn't be able to sleep later tonight. I didn't go out or anything I was mostly just laying in bed or watching TV. Of course I was on Twitter and checking what people were doing. To be honest I feel sleepy right now and I think I'm going to go bed now and hopefully I'll sleep through the whole night. Wait ... I just remembered I'll be awake when someone calls me and we are going to sleep on the phone but yeah. Off to bed now. Good Night Everyone!

Softball/Bulls Game/Manny Pacquiao

Today was a crazy day. So this morning I had a softball and we won. It was crazy because I had an amazing game. I had pitched today and struck out players and made some good plays. I totally loved the last out because the softball had landed right into my glove when the batter had hit the ball. Oh yeah my parents had watched my softball game and both of them were there. I think it was the first time they both had watched me play in a sport and saw the whole game. Since I was having a good game my coach was like now your parents have to come to every game now. Speaking of the game we won and our record now is 4-1 which is awesome.

Bulls vs Celtics ... = ( Sadly Bulls lost game seven to the Celtics but they gave a good run. There is always next year that they can get into the playoff games. Honestly I can say all the games Bulls vs Celtics play were intense. So many over times and shots made by players on both team. I wonder what team I'll root for now since the Bulls are out of the playoffs but I'll see what happens who is going against who in second round of playoffs.

Manny Pacquiao - Dang I don't know what to say. I'm speechless. That was so crazy how he knocked how the british guy in only two rounds. Two rounds and the british guy was no where near close to knocking out Manny. I'm still so amazed of what Manny Pacquiao did. If your Filipino most likely you had a gathering to watch the boxing match. Well we did and when we watched and Pacquiao knocked him out everyone was yelling, screaming, jumping and what not. What can I say when we have someone Filipino we love to support them. LOL. Can't wait for the next gathering of another Pacquiao fight. MANNY PACQUIAO IS THE BEST!!!

Blogging

Alright so I'm deciding to start blogging everyday now on this. Today is May 1, 2009 and so why not start something new. I won't know what I'll be blogging everyday but I have a few ideas of somethings. Somethings might be my day, thoughts, stuff on mind and etc. Some blogs may be long and some are short but its still a blog right. Another thing is I'll try to remember to blog everyday but I can't be postive of that. Well I'm finished blogging and I'm tired. I have softball in the morning as well. Good Night Everyone!